Believe that I was this...

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-04-11T13:57:00

2007-04-11T18:58:14Z

This is just a quick thing...song of the day. "Breath" Breaking Benjamin.

I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.

Is it over yet, in my head?

I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.

Is it over yet? I can't win.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.

Is it over yet? Let me in.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

[Bridge]
I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating.

[Chorus:]
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-02-20T07:55:00

2007-02-20T13:59:10Z

I HAVE BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

I found the REAL vocalist for the Paris Hilton album.
It's the lead singer of Shiny Toy Guns!

I knew her voice sounded familiar when I heard them.

So there you have it, "Paris" CD was sung by Carah Faye Charnow...not Paris Hilton. I knew the vocals sounded a little bit too good to be Paris'. But they're still not very good.

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-02-15T11:04:00

2007-02-15T17:09:00Z

Some updates on bands and their upcoming albums

Good Charlotte "Good Morning Revival" March 27
Madina Lake "From Them Through Us To You" March 27
Simple Plan -songs being written but Pierre has writer's block-
Aiden "Conviction" July
Amber Pacific "Truth in Sincerity" May
Linkin Park "Currently Unititled" March

Hmm... GC and Madina have the same release date
I wonder which band I'm gonna support...
Thats not even a question...I'm supportin my boys from Illinois, Madina Lake.
Cuz...well...I have more faith in their album than GC's

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-02-09T09:34:00

2007-02-09T16:11:11Z

What is your name? Eric Michael Myers

When were you born? October 18, 1988

Where do you live? Mount Prospect, Illinois

Are you male of female? male

How tall are you? 5' 9"

What color hair do you have? dirty blonde

Is it your real hair color? If not what is? yes

Do you have glasses/contacts? yes, but I don't wear them

What color are your eyes? right now?...silver

If you are a male...do you have any facial hair? barely, i hate facial hair
What is your ethnic background? caucasion

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no, but as Juan says, I'm together with Brittany in every way so according to him we're together but with an open relationship. So thats pretty much why I don't get depressed about not technically being with her anymore

If so...what is thier name? read the last one

If you do not have a partner do you have a crush? I guess you could say that
Are you or have you ever been in love? ya

What is your religion? atheist

Do you have any nicknames? alot...um...bub, teddy bear, muffinhead, etc.

Do you play any sports? not on teams, but I play everything

What are your hobbies? listening to music and hanging with friends

~*Either/ Or*~

McDonalds Or Burger King? Burger King

Chicken or Beef? Beef

Dogs or Cats? Cats

White chowder or Red chowder? um...since clam chowder is white...id say red chowder
West coast or East coast? East coast

English or Math? math

Pants or Shorts? pants

Sweatshirts with hoods or sweatshirts without hoods? with hoods
Salty or Sweet? sweet

Fluff or Jelly? jelly

Summer or Winter? summer

Hot dogs or Hamburgers? hot dogs

Football or Baseball? football to watch, baseball to play

French Fries or Onion rings? depends...usually french fries unless its from BK, then onion rings

Contacts or Glasses? glasses

Coffee or Tea? tea

Soda or Juice? soda

Skiing or Swimming? swimming

Rings or Bracelets? rings

~*When is the last time you...*~

Talked on the phone? yesterday, my dad called to talk to me about car insurance

Laughed? yesterday at Futurama

Hugged someone? winter break...no...i can't remember but it was when my mom and sister were over...no just my mom

Kissed someone? um...a bowling meet in November
Told someone you loved them....and meant it? last time i talked to Brittany so...Wednesday

Drove? when I was at my mom's

Ate? last night

Danced? idk

Rode a roller coaster? oh its been years...last time i was at great america
Went out to dinner? oh god...i have no idea

Swam in the ocean? when i lived in Florida and even then the water depth was maybe 8 feet, I have a fear of a shark attacking me

Went to a concert? May 16, 2006

Bought yourself something new? December

Worked? August

Played a board game? yesterday, Scrabble and I won as usual

Went to a party? psh...idk

Saw your best friend? January

Saw a shooting star? never have

Got nervous/happy butterflies? January

~*Do You...*~

Like to cook? yes

Have any piercings? no

How about tattoos? no

Do you drink? rarely

Smoke? rarely

Do Drugs? no

Have cable/satellite televison? yes

Go to school? yes

Actually like school? no but id prefer being at school than staying home just because then I have something to do

Like to read? if the book is good

Like to play video games? no but i do all the time because it passes the time

Eat vegetables? ha, no

Eat seafood? only tuna

Have the ability to curl your tongue? ya

Like to shop? ya

Like to go to clubs? no

Like to dress up? the nicest thing I have is a HIM hoody so no

Do you or did you go to school dances? no

Like your job (if you have one)? dont have one but i didn't like my job

~*Which one of your friends...*~

Do you have the most memories with? Juan

Do you have the most in common with? Brittany most likely...but Juan could be too

Is the loudest? Brittany, but she's not loud

Is the most attractive? Brittany

Is the funniest? Brittany

Do you trust the most while in the car? haven't been in a car while I or they were driving
Do you trust the least while in the car? refer to the above

Do you tell the most secrets to? Brittany

Has told you the most secrets? Brittany

Makes you nervous? none

Has the biggest wardrobe? Brittany hands down...little miss 30+ shirts
Has the nicest car? none of them have a car

Is always late? none

Is always happy? none

Is the most hyper? Brittany

Has the worst taste in the opposite sex? Steve

Is the smartest? Brittany but I wouldn't consider any of us "smart" per say...but we're not dumb

Is the most photogenic? Brittany

Has the best job? none of us have jobs...we're all bums

~*Ouick thoughts to ponder*~

What came first the chicken or the egg? the chicken

Is the glass half empty or half full? if your filling it, then half full; if you're taking it away, then half empty

Describe your perfect date: As long as I'm with that special someone, I'm happy, it could be just laying in bed all day watching movies or TV

Describe your ideal vacation spot: Helsinki, Finland in December. The temperature hangs around 34 degrees and its snowing. I've seen images of this and its just breathtaking.

What are some qualities you'd like your significant other to have? Have Brittany describe herself without being pessimistic and you've got it

Describe your dream job: Just being around music would be perfect

Describe your dream ride? either a '66 Shelby Cobra or a Toyata Yaris or '76 Vista Cruiser

If you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be? Hanover Park

If you could speak to one person dead or alive who would it be? Either Thomas Jefferson or John Lennon
If you could be anyone or anything in the world what would it be? idk
Why did you take this survey? because I needed something to do

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-02-02T10:06:00

2007-02-02T16:13:48Z

Okay today's song of the day is "Lithium" by Evanescence
This song comes off of the new album, "The Open Door".
Now I know there are those of you that are not sure if they want to hear the album because of the song, "Call Me When You're Sober". But I assure you, that is the only song done in that style. One of the best songs on the album is today's song of the day so listen to it. Maybe it'll get you to listen to the rest of the album.

"Lithium" Evanescence...

Lithium - don't wana lock me up inside
lithium - don't wana forget how it feels without
lithium - I wana stay in love with my sorrow
oh but God I want to let it go

come to bed, don't make me sleep alone
couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show
never wanted it to be so cold
just didn't drink enough to say you love me

I can't hold on to me
wonder what's wrong with me

Lithium - don't wana lock me up inside
lithium - don't wana forget how it feels without
lithium - I wana stay in love with my sorrow

Don't want to let it lay me down this time
drown my will to fly
here in the darkness I know myself
can't break free until I let it go
let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all
anything is better than to be alone
and in the end I guess I had to fall
always find my place among the ashes

I can't hold on to me
wonder what's wrong with me

Lithium - don't wana lock me up inside
lithium - don't wana forget how it feels without
lithium - I wana stay in love with my sorrow
oh I'm gunna let it go

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-02-01T08:38:00

2007-02-01T14:55:49Z

Well what went on yesterday...
Not much
Juan didn't show up
Dad was at work till like 11
So I sat around doing nothing really until 9 as usual
Actually...I can't remember what I did to pass the time
Not at all...hmm...
Oh well
Not like I could've done anything I'd regret like smokin the dope right?
Right
Well...At around 8:30 I started watching American Beauty
Which is an amazing movie
And if you haven't seen it...you're going to
Now some interesting things occurred yesterday

1. I taught my cat about Greek Mythology
2. My cat was asking for food when his bowl was half full so I told him to stop begging or I'd never tell him about Aphrodite again
3. Several of my fingers got stuck in my belt (don't ask...idk)
4. I took a picture of myself wearing my glasses and one of them cool hats from Hot Topic

Now...what has happened today...

1. I found out I won't be eating lunch today cuz Durso forgot to bring the money to put on his card
2. I got a shit load of Yu-gi-oh cards from Durso. I traded one card for like 15 cards so my dragon deck is coming together (I got 3 Blue Eyes so I can finally use my Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon ^_^)

Other than that, nothings happened today
Gym's today so that means basketball where I'm so gonna kick ass in again

Shit...I still need a song of the day...but so far nothings spoken to me.
So I won't update this until I find one that speaks to me...

Ok...I have it
"Eyes On Me" Faye Wong (Brittany, don't avoid this just cuz the lady is Japanese...its sung in English and its really good, used to be my favorite song)

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I love your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will know
that you are no dreamer

Oh and nobody call me a nerd because I play Yu-gi-oh...because I'm doing it for the tournament cash
The regional 1st prize is $1,000 and I could REALLY use that

cerealki11er666 @ 2007-01-31T08:59:00

2007-01-31T15:02:18Z

Today we have a special edition of song of the day.
Today our song has a dedication to a certain special person out there
Who could use something uplifting
So today's song of the day is "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot...

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

[Chorus]

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

Remember, never let anyone make you think you're worthless
Everyone has something to give the world

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-11-17T10:01:00

2006-11-17T16:01:46Z

Well lets see...not a lot going on today.
But its school so thats expected.
But a few minutes ago it was great.
We're in seminar right?
And you're not allowed to leave unless you sign yourself out.
So this kid left without doing that.
And he got caught like 20 feet away from the room making out.
And he was getting yelled at for like 5 minutes.
It was hilarious.
Well I got nothin to say

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-11-09T08:37:00

2006-11-09T14:37:25Z

Well I meant to do this yesterday but this was being stupid and wouldn't let me post for some reason.
Well I'm finally with Brittany.
Obviously I've been happy since then.
And apparently there are people saying that if I hurt her they'll kick my ass and whatnot.
But they dont need to worry because thats not going to happen.
I couldn't hurt my best friend now could I?
Of course not.
Well I have a paper to write so I gotta get going on that

♥
Lucifer's Angel

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-11-07T08:16:00

2006-11-07T14:16:21Z

Well that time of year is once again upon us.
Christmas time is coming once again.
And you know what that means.
Kill Hannah's annual concert "New Heart for Christmas" is coming once again.
It's at the Metro and tickets are $19.
December 22, doors open at 5:30pm and the show starts at 6:00pm.
Special guest artist this year is the Pink Spiders.
So if any of you folks wanna come see this phenomenal band with me and my boy Juan then lemme hear ya
You'll get to hear them play at their best, performing rarities, classics from the back catalogue, as well as new favorites.
Have a nice day

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-10-23T07:46:00

2006-10-23T12:54:53Z

Well this weekend had its ups and downs.
But the only downs came when I was talking to Brittany but its not her fault, it was just because my mind was fucked up again.
I made her think that I didn't want to be her friend anymore but anyone that knows me would know that I could never do that.
I got some stuff for my birthday

The Crow DVD
Senses Fail "Still Searching" CD
Wolf necklace
Heartagram Cross necklace
Broken Heartagram necklace
HIM fleece blanket (thats really too big for just one person *hint hint*)
and I'm getting...
Final Fantasy XII
Black/Pink HIM Comforter

Well nothing to say

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-10-11T08:13:00

2006-10-11T13:22:53Z

Well I've checked every way to get to Brittany's now

Taxi- ~$26 just to get there
Train- ~$6 to get there
Bus- $3 to get there (but it doesn't run on weekends)

So really my best option is taking the train, but I have to go to Chicago for that
And I'd prolly get lost trying to find the other station
So I REALLY need a car

And typing on this damn laptop sucks
The keyboard is really small and the damn spacebar doesn't like to work
If I'll be able to go to Brittany's on Sunday, then I think I'll have to bike there
What grand fun huh?
Plus since I kinda can't afford a bus right now I'd have to bike the whole 13 miles
Haha...so...I'd have to leave at like 8 to get there by 12
But it'd be worth it

Hmm...it took me about 4 hours walking time to get to Brittany's...
So...since the average walking speed is about 2.5 mph and the average bike speed is 11 mph... it should actually only take me about an hour
But I'm still leaving at 8 just in case ya know?
Haha...I'm actually a bit smarter than I thought
A tad crazy most will say, but whatever
I'm not crazy...well...I am...but not over this
Know why?
Cuz I'd walk 10598613098561203958612985692186509235 miles just to be able to walk by her and say hi.
That's why
Oh boy...gotta get to work before my teach gets on my case

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-10-04T09:23:00

2006-10-04T14:37:34Z

Well lets see
The Pace bus company can go drive themselves over the grand canyon.
Know why?
Cuz their buses won't run on COLUMBUS DAY!
Haha...so I have ALOT of walking to do this weekend
A-L-O-T
Maybe I can carjack somebody lol
Yeah...thats smart
I wouldn't do that tho
Cuz then I'd go to jail and I dont wanna be raped
Well I'm done
♥

P.S.

My ear has started to hurt
Just thought I'd let you know Brittany
But its fine cuz you think its funny

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-08-07T22:19:00

2006-08-08T03:24:58Z

Well...idk
I'm just not so great now
Feeling helpless, and hopeless, and meaningless
Just feels like nothing in my life is ever going to work out
How my life is now is probably going to be how it is the rest of my life
I'll be single, and working to get money for no reason
I feel like going to sleep...and I hope that I wont wake up
Maybe this is all a dream
Maybe none of this is real
I mean...I can't remember things I should
Like...I tried to picture Brittany...but I can't remember what she looks like.
Everytime I think I'm close to getting a picture in my head, the image just sort of turns to sand and falls away.
Does anybody find this wierd?
If this is all real...well...what if I woke up one day.
But it was as if I never met Brittany
Like I'd open up my wallet and see the pictures and think "who the hell is this?"
What if out of nowhere I just completely forgot about her?
How long would I last?
I need to stop thinking.
I'm stopping now
Thats it

Burn me alive inside...

2006-08-06T16:39:46Z

Well...I decided to chronicle my thoughts whenever I get really depressed. So far I have only written anything down for
August 2, 2006. This is the only entry because the thoughts that were expressed on that day are the same thoughts that keep going through my mind every night since then. As a precaution, I just wanted to let everyone know to not take anything I say to heart. These are all merely thoughts I get when I am depressed. So without any further stalling...here it is.

Wednesday August 2, 2006 11:27pm - 11:39pm

Why did I let myself fall for her? I wish I didn't feel about her this way. Everything would be so much better if I didn't love her like I do. If I could, I'd throw these feelings away. Everyday is just too much pain to bare...I can't stand it. I feel like ripping my heart out of my chest so I won't feel anymore pain. Goddammit...Why did I let myself fall for her? Did I even have any control over it? Could I have done something to prevent this from happening? When did I even start falling for her? I don't even know that. Why did I fall for her? Was it because I let her in? If I hadn't let her in, would this have happened? Do I even love her like I think I do? Or do I just think I do because she's the first person I've ever let in like this? Fuck...I just want to cut so bad...just tear myself apart. Why do I bother...why do I keep on living? There's no point to it all. My life is going nowhere and the one thing that would make me happy, I'll never have because I'm such a fucking idiot and lost my chance to be with her. If I have no future with her, then I obviously have no future...so why should I bother with dragging this out. Maybe I should just kill myself. Everyone would be better off. Especially Brittany. Things would be pretty much perfect for her right now if it weren't for me. She gets upset because of hurting me...I can't keep letting her feel bad. I'm turning into the biggest asshole...she probably is starting to hate me. That would probably be for the best. Then she wouldn't talk to me anymore, we'd drift apart, and then I would die. She might be sad for a day...maybe two. But at least she'd be able to go on with her life. I just can't let her get brought down by me anymore...I don't care what it takes...I can't let it keep happening.

I almost cut/attempted suicide that night. But I couldn't go through with it. I heard Brittany's voice and it was telling me that I can't do that because seeing my scars hurts her and she can't lose me. She needs me too much.
Now to clear some things up from that entry...I hate thinking like this. I may hurt because of my situation, but I still like feeling the way I do. I don't like thinking that maybe I don't actually love her. It hurts me to think that way. I don't think like this all the time...but I usually start thinking like this at night. Other than that, I have good thoughts during the day.

Well this is the first entry that actually took a little while to take care of.

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-08-04T11:59:00

2006-08-04T17:17:09Z

Well it looks like I am going to my mom's for a week
Nothin else to say really...
Other than...

ONE DAY!

Then I win :)
What do you think of that Brittany :-P

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-28T12:27:00

2006-07-28T17:44:31Z

Just a quick update..

I'm gonna buy an iPod...30GB...black...it'll be awesome

Also I'm gonna order a shirt from Hot Topic
So thats kool

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-26T11:50:00

2006-07-26T17:10:28Z

Hey everyone
Not really a whole lot to say.
Work is boring as usual...I've had to stand all day so far.
So my back kinda hurts a bit.
Hmm...I was thinking of doing something today...but I'm not sure if I should.
Well I'm gonna go now
Later

Tell me why do I feel this way? ♥

2006-07-25T17:54:56Z

Ok...had to put up the lyrics to this amazing song

"Time To Burn" The Rasmus

Fear of the dark tears me apart
Won't leave me alone and time keeps running out

Just one more life, I'm so sick and tired
Of singing the blues, I should turn my life around

Tell me why do I feel this way
All my life I've been standing on the borderline
Too many bridges burned
Too many lies I've heard
I had a life but I can't go back
I can't do that, it will never be the same again
And I know I don't
Have any time to burn

They follow me home, disturbing my sleep
But I'll find a place, place where they cannot find me
Maybe I'm lost, and maybe I'm scared
But too many times I've closed the doors behind me

Leave it all behind
Cross the borderline
Face the truth, don't have any time to...
Don't have any time to burn

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-24T11:46:00

2006-07-24T17:05:09Z

omg...
everyone here is so lazy
It has been a week since someone updated...and you all have access to a computer ALL THE TIME
Me? Well I only have access to one 1 hour a day, 5 days a week.
I still manage to get here.
So I've got nothing to do since myspace is being stupid as all hell.
Oh and if you happen to stop by here...Brittany, I got lots of funny ass shit to tell you about that happened over the weekend.
So I'm calling you when I get home.
♥

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-18T12:05:00

2006-07-18T17:23:24Z

Hey everyone
I don't know why I'm posting anything
Cuz here's how my life goes
blah blah blah work, blah blah blah listen to music/watch tv/play games, blah blah blah wait for Brittany to call, blah blah blah sleep.
That's how every single day of my life goes.
Pretty pointless and meaningless
Eh...not been so good lately
I'm just gonna go now

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-12T12:03:00

2006-07-12T17:23:51Z

Well I've got nothing to do...and nobody to talk to.
So I'm stuck here...pretty much forced to listen to my mind.
Not good...I dont want something bad to happen...
Although I feel like something bad happened already...
Something doesn't feel quite right and idk
I just dont know what to say about this...
It feels like something really terrible happened or something
Like...idk...just everything hurts...its hard to breathe...my eyes are burning...
I feel like I'm about to break down or something.
Thats it...idk what to say

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-11T11:55:00

2006-07-11T17:13:59Z

Today has been shit
I can't concentrate on anything
My head's been bothering me real bad
I can't stop thinking all these bad thoughts and shit
I feel like jumping of a bridge or at least tearing myself to shreds
I dont know why I'm like this today
idk what else to say really
so im done
i guess

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-10T12:09:00

2006-07-10T17:31:42Z

Well this weekend...lets see

Saturday-
Went to Woodfield with Juan. Steve couldn't go cuz he's in Chicago. We were going to get Brittany but the damn bus out there wasn't running. And I couldn't call her cuz NOBODY would give me change.
So I got a HIM poster

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/HIM-darklight-poster.jpg

thats where you can see it
I got a HIM pillowcase which i can't find an image of
and a HIM lunchbox

http://rockratmusic.com/SellTrade/Images/lb-him.jpg

Then we came home...and watched From Dusk till Dawn. Best movie of all time. Yep
Talked to Brittany for awhile after that. Then went to bed cuz the phone died or sumthin.

Sunday-
Talked to Brittany. And thats it. That sounds bad...like I'm sayin i didn't like it or sumthin.
But I did...its really nice talking to her all day.

Well I'm done

25 days left

cerealki11er666 @ 2006-07-07T12:02:00

2006-07-07T17:19:45Z

Tomorrow may be fun
It all depends on if me, Juan, and Steve actually end up goin to Woodfield or not
Hmm...hey Brittany?
If we do go, you should go too
Mmhmm
Then we could all chillax and all and it'd be fun
And I miss you so ya
Other than that I've got nothing to say
Later dayz